For the record this is the fifth revised title!
#29, single with a bulldog. I’m getting a bulldog! Boys love bulldogs!
#30, single, with a bulldog. Lola, the ULTIMATE cock block. Key the sound of a grown woman throwing up, but in fact it’s a dog. Awesome for sleepovers.
#31, single with a bulldog. Taking her on multiple 1st dates along the Seawall in Vancouver. If we only went from Kitsilano to Granville Island before I started to say Lola was overheating…it was probably a poor sign for the suitor.
#32, single, with a bulldog. Can dogs suffer from toxic shock syndrome? Seriously.
Officially ready for #33, single, with a bulldog!
Now why would a dude take the last half of chicken? He is a DUDE! He can eat a whole one! Plus, didn’t he see the sad looking single lady in line behind him?!
Thank god…the lady behind the counter took pity on me tonight, and cut the whole in half. This was only after I bluffed about walking away from the chicken option. (Poker Poker Face.)
It only got worse when I then saw the dude with his girlfriend in the produce section! There is TWO of you, AND you took the last 1/2 chicken?!
Dude-Karma is coming your way.
I get knocked down, and I get up again. Oh dear did I just quote a chumbawamba song? Go ahead and blame it on the cold meds. (at least they are working.)
Last Week- sick, stressed, no balance, bad eyebrows, missing home, taxes, gross chicken noodle soup, and Nexus calling to tell me I owe $30 on duty for two $10 bottles of wine.
This Week-85% better, sunshine, successful presentation completed, fun weekend plans made, maintained brows, multiple seawall walks with Lola, back to running, Coke in glass bottles, 3 delicious dinners actually cooked, and moving forward!
When I accepted my offer to move to Canada a year ago…I feel like I was left in the dark on several items. Ryan Reynolds and those pretty snow capped mountains fooled me! I have now made it my mission to get the truth out! No one should make this BIG of a decision until they know all the facts. Here is is folks…
Items not available in Vancouver, British Columbia (as far as I know)-
1. Jif Peanut Butter-Its true the only Jif I can find are the single servings that Abigails Party serves up with their toast. I feel like my late Great Grandma T….when secretly hoarding them in my purse.
2. Target-sure in 3 years this will show up. By that time I will be 35 years old, and Ryan Reynolds will be picking up our kids from hockey camp.
3. Girl Scout Cookies- Girl Guides DO NOT COUNT! That’s like giving this girl a generic Oreo!
4. Anthropologie- Sure..”coming soon” to South Granville. I can’t wait to see the increase they put on my already priced $168 t-shirt!
5. Ranch dressing- Sure you can buy this at most grocery stores, but how many restaurants want to give me some sort of mayo for my fries, because they don’t offer RANCH. Canada-Ranch is just as important as water! (PS however I never say no to mayo either.)
6. Mail on Saturdays- Nope the postman takes the day off!
7. Lemonheads- Silly but true. I have my own personal stockpile.
8. Crate and Barrel- I literally almost fall over when people don’t even know what this fabulous store is! When they do know..I want to hug them. I must get the word out on the Big Sur Table!
9. Hulu- Video not available in your country. (This is the point when I start cursing my mac book.)
10. Air Conditioning- I have a $1600 650 sq ft apt (ridiculous)…with no air conditioning. Granted it gets no where near the heat of Chicago, but for $1600 I expect all the bells and whistles of the Four Seasons. .
She licked my face off. Her poop explosions had me appreciating open windows in zero degree weather. Her neck wound made me lose my lunch. She taught me how to change diapers. She snored like a MAN. She brought my dating life to a screeching halt.
Miss Patsy. The sweetest bulldog in the world. (yes even next to Lola)
Happy 1 year adoption!
I am learning to accept you. I am learning to stop loathing you. Yes you are beautiful, but I need more than that. If you and I are going to live happily ever after, we need to compromise.
Me. I will stop comparing you to my first love Chicago. It’s just not fair to you. How could I expect you to compete with such a gem of a city. It’s not your fault they don’t share in the wealth of Anthropologie, 2 story Targets, smushed hot dogs from Wrigley Field, and my beloved Miller Lite.
You. Stop being so complicated. Start carrying Ranch dressing in your restaurants. Let me stand in a bar without being seated. Let my debit card be used as a credit card. It’s simple, really.
Bring me back to that day in February where I couldn’t get over how nice you were, how chill you were, and how someday I would love to trade in a dollar for a loonie.
Slowly and surely, you and I will work through our issues.